Miscellaneous stories
When you're gone
You can't help but noticing the sudden void inside you. Where there used to be love and happiness, there is sadness first and numbness later. It is a rather weird feeling, because when immersed in numbness you don't feel anything. You don't pity yourself, but neither do you rejoice when something works the way it was expected. You go back to your projects but without any hope or passion, and, complementarily, when they don't work you don't feel anger or frustration.
Your heart is like an arm gone numb. You want to think it is there, and you keep checking because you can't feel it. And, like the arm, if there is something which causes pain to it, you don't realise. Whether it gets hot, cold or it blows up doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore. Even loneliness doesn't bring back the phantoms of the past. Nothing cures it, not right now.
Suddenly you wake up feeling weird, it is as if minute ants were running up and down your organ which has gone numb. It starts to wake up. You feel pain, and love, and all emotions. But you can't help thinking that maybe it will be worse.
Human, you can't escape from feelings, you can't hide them under the mask of indiference, no one can. Not even you. One day, you'll glue the broken pieces of your heart together and it will work until it shudders and collapses again. That is the way that has always been. That is the way it will ever be.
La inconsistència
En un carrer fosc i ombrívol
deixat de la mà de Déu
aparcat en un carreró
jeu sobre un bassal.
Un fosc toll de fang i sang,
de petjades inconcluses,
de camins interromputs,
de pors i alegries
Un espai on qualsevol -
perdria la fe en la humanitat
i en un mateix
Un lloc on un polític va prometre
fins quedar-se afònic
on ella jeu, per sempre,
en el seu cartró
Des de molt amunt es veu
jeient en un cartró amarat
de sang i fang
la silueta de la inconsistència.
Joan Pere Roselló - 2008, 09, ...